A 6-Trait Writing Lesson from WritingFix
Focus Trait: VOICE Support Trait: WORD CHOICE

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Inventing Stories for your Favorite Clothes

voice techniques borrowed from a very unique clothing catalogue

The unique writing style found in the J. Peterman Clothing Catalogue is currently inspiring student writers to try new techniques with the traits of voice and word choice.

Additional Student Samples Being Sought:
Grades 4, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12

WritingFix is currently seeking additional student samples from this writing assignment that can be featured in this space. Submitted student work must show evidence of revision, editing, and the final draft must be typed and sent through e-mail. Teachers: if you can help us obtain one, two or three student samples, along with a digital photo of the student(s) and a signed permission slips, we will send you either a complimentary copy of one of the Northern Nevada Writing Project's print publications.

Write to us at publish@writingfix.com and write "J. Peterman" in your e-mail's subject line, if you have a student sample to share with us.

Student Samples: Upper Elementary

Nerd Disguise Sunglasses
by Cassie, fifth grade writer

You're the nerd of the school. Braces, glasses, plaid skirts, and you're a straight-A student. The common welcome committee is waiting for you each morning. No matter how you try to avoid them, they always find you, dumping you head first in a trash can.

When you come home, the first thing your mom asks you is, "Want to go shopping?" Well, all shopping helps. You find yourself at the store, P. Jeeterman. There your Mom finds you a nice pair of deluxe, radiant neon yellow sunglasses. With a yellow frame and peachy pink lens, you'll become the coolest kid in the school. Almost.

These awesome sunglasses not only protect you from harmful ultra violet rays but they also easily disguise you on April Fool's Day or from bullies. And if you don't think this is enough, then try the mood-sensitive fiery topazes embedded on the sides.

These marvelous sunglasses are only $49.99, and if you have a membership you'll get $10 off any item you purchase! If you don't have a P. Jeeterman store near you, just call 555-782-224. Make sure you come in and get your deluxe sunglasses now!


(Click here to view/print Cassie and one of her classmates' J. Peterman samples.)


The Outrun
by Corey, sixth grade writer

You find yourself getting chased by an angry line backer and corner back. What do you do? You pull out your Eddie Royal jersey,and quickly pull it over your head. Thank goodness you have this jersey because it gives you the speed Eddie Royal has , and it makes you have all the moves and jukes that Eddie has too .  So now you’re approaching the line backer and corner back, and here is where the jukes come in handy . You spin to the right , and then the left, and then juke back and forth, side to side. Now you’re in the open field , and you being chased here is where the speed comes in handy; all of a sudden you speed up and nobody can catch you. The next thing you know you have scored a touchdown!

The hand stitched numbers on this jersey of a lifetime are made out of a material that will last forever .The netted part is made from long-lasting cotton, polyester, and a bunch of other materials. The jersey comes in all Denver Broncos team colors: striking navy blue with cloudy white numbers, racing-bright orange with cloudy white numbers, and cloudy white with the striking navy blue numbers. The jersey comes in all sizes: Kids-XS, S , M, L, and , XL. Adult-S, M, L, XL, XXL, and, XXXL. This jersey will always make it feel like Eddie Royal is right there next to you guiding you. The price ranges from kids- $60 - $80 and Adults- $80 - $110.

 

"Money" for Memories
by Madi, sixth grade writer

The two disco dancers make a hilarious and unforgettable impression as they enter the dance room.  You would think that normally people going to prom would wear dresses and tuxedos, but this couple wants to remember this night forever! That is why they chose the "Money Suit." 

When the music began, these two were ready to party all night long! The first song played -- Funky Town -- perfect.  The crowd starts to chant, "Claire! Josiah! Claire! Claire! Josiah!"  Every person in the room is cheering and enjoying the dance.  Josiah and Claire have the spotlight as they dance the thrilling night away!

Our "Money Suit" is perfect for teenage attention-grabbers.  Usually it is worn to dances.  It is meadow green with sparkling gold money signs scattered everywhere about.  Along the trim and edging are dollar bills.  The suit includes a tall hat, a jacket and some spunky pants.

Sizes: XS,S,M,L,XL,XXL

Price: $59

 


(Click here to view/print Corey, Madi and one of their classmate's J. Peterman samples.)


Student Samples: Middle School

The Belle L’Amour Dress
by Mickayla, seventh grade writer

You’re walking down a long hall. All you hear is the clinking of your heels and the excitement bursting out of the door. As you enter in through the doors, everything and everyone becomes silent. All eyes on you and your ensemble. Your dress flows when you walk. In the light, your diamonds shimmer, as they were carefully hand picked. The sparkles make you glow with radiance.

You will find the short-sleeves and layered dress swimming. The top comes in maroon, navy blue, and forest green. The bottom in violet, sky blue, and green. Made out of 100% silk. This is a Paris original. Belle means beautiful in French, and you surely will be in a Belle L’Amour.

(Click here to view/print Mickayla and two of her classmates' J. Peterman samples.)


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