A Chapter Book Writing Lesson from WritingFix
Focus Trait: ORGANIZATION Support Trait: SENTENCE FLUENCY

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Student Samples Page:
Short Adventure Stories

helping students organize an
adventurous and detailed tale

The writing of author R. A. Montgomery inspired student writers to try new techniques with the traits of organization and sentence fluency. Join us in teaching (and adapting) this on-line lesson and sharing your students' work.

You can publish up to three of your students' edited and finished stories at this page.

Use these samples to inspire your student writers! Discussing the strengths of published student samples before, while, and after using this on-line assignment is important. If your students are engaged in trait- or skill-inspired discussions about any of the samples we've posted here, they will produce better writing, especially if you help them take their writing all the way through the writing process.

Thank you, those who share their students' writing with us.

 

Additional Student Samples Being Sought:
Grades 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12

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WritingFix is currently seeking additional student samples from this writing assignment that can be featured in this space. Submitted student work must show evidence of revision, editing, and the final draft must be typed and sent through e-mail. Teachers: if you can help us obtain up to three student samples, along with a digital photo of the student(s) and a signed permission slips, we will send you either a complimentary copy of one of the Northern Nevada Writing Project's print publications.

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Student Samples: Third Grade

The Adventure of Johnny Test
by Jose, third grade adventure writer

The adventurer, Johnny Test, was walking in his neighborhood when he saw a quick flash in the air in front of him. He ran to where it was coming from, and suddenly he fell into an invisible hole. He landed in a secret laboratory. Johnny Test explored this mysterious place and discovered a secret door, which lead him to a very stinky part of the lab. What he found in this room horrified him!

There were two scientists, and billows of gray and black smoke. Johnny Test jumped into action. He found a pair of white scientist gloves and put them on. He grabbed the smoking experiment then realized it was too late.

He ran through the door, which lead him back to the main part of the laboratory. He got some ladders and used them to reach the invisible hole that led him there. Just as he climbed out of the hole with the two scientists, half of the lab blew up!

The two scientists quit and gave their lab to Johnny Test.

A Rain Forest Adventure
by Nick, third grade adventure writer

One dark day in the rain forest, Dan’s army jet swooped out of the sky and exploded. Dan got out and looked for safety. He saw a cave. Dan went in, and a gigantic boulder was blocking him. It was so dark and he had no matches. Dan shouted, “Oh I have no matches!”

Then when Dan fell, he was saved. He found ancient matches on the gooey ground. When he lit the match, he saw five bow and arrows coming. Dan did a backflip into a tunnel. He looked scared because Dan had to run over one million tons of hot lava. Dan shouted, “The lava is burning the path! I need to leap.”

Dan ran and barely made it into another room. The room was gold. Dan found one million tons of solid gold. When Dan reached for the gold, five tigers surrounded him. The tigers were hungry, so they leaped for Dan. Dan grabbed the gold and barely escaped the dangerous tigers by running out of the rain forest. The rain forest exploded, and Dan got famous and rich.

(Click here to print just these two third grade samples to share with your third graders.)


Student Samples: Fourth Grade

Joe’s Dangerous Day
by Joe, fourth grade adventure writer

I am Joe Cage, and I am driving into an icky, spooky-looking forest. Suddenly my Mercedes breaks down. “I don’t think I want to go in the forest,” I said to myself, “but I need a car and I might find a car in there.”

I began walking through the forest when I heard a growl of a vicious, ferocious animal coming at me. It approached closer and closer and closer. I was a little worried that a vicious gorilla would attack me. I’m allergic to gorillas.

But it was a leopard. It jumped on me. I pulled my pocket knife out of my left pocket. I stabbed the leopard right in the chest. I killed it. Then I saw a jeep right at the end of the dangerous forest. Right when I started the jeep, panthers began to run at me. As one jumped on my car, I blasted out of there like a rocket blasting to space. Then I got out of there safely.

A Mystery Door
by Dannielle, fourth grade adventure writer

Jengo Darkblade was minding his own business when he saw the door open. It had always been locked. He was thinking, “Did the janitor open it?” So he got a witness. It was locked again as soon as the other person was there. It was locked until the person left, then the lock vanished and it opened. He thought it was a magic door.

When Jengo was walking toward the door, something pulled him--or sucked him--in. He was in a vortex. When he got into the dimension, he heard a moaning sound. He quaked with fear, but he ran toward the moaning sound. It was a person and a golden retriever.

Jengo Darkblade helped them up. He took them to a hospital and a vet hospital. When they were okay, they said their thank yous. Jengo went back. He said, “What a nightmare.”

General Jackson and the Parallel Universe
by Jackson, fourth grade adventure writer

General Jackson is a war veteran who was almost paralyzed entirely once. It seemed to be an ordinary night. Jackson was watching television when he spotted an object with luster in his fireplace. He dashed to pick the object up. It was a key, but it was a strangely-shaped key. There was only one door in the house, and he had never been able to open before.

Jackson dashed to the door, and he fit the key into the keyhole. It was a perfect fit. Jackson wandered in. The room was small like a closet, but as he turned around to exit the room, the door slammed shut as fast as lightning. Jackson was shouting for help as he slammed his body against the door. He looked through his pockets. He had only two things in his pocket: a bobby pin and a pocketknife. Jackson tried to cut through the door, but it was way too thick.

Jackson had no clue how a bobby pin could help him in this kind of situation. He kept banging against the door again and again until with a last bang on the door the door flew open just as fast as it had closed. He was back in his living room except there was a man in the room. That man looked just like Jackson in every way. “You’re me,” said Jackson.

“But you’re me,” said the man like Jackson. Jackson had no idea where he was or how to get back, but he knew an adventure was about to unfold.

(Click here to print just these three fourth grade samples to share with your fourth graders.)


Student Samples: Fifth Grade

Truckee Talmon
by Julia, fifth grade writer

Truckee Talmon couldn’t resist. She knew the door had always been locked. She was in a mysterious room that was empty and hollow. She felt the temptation, but she wasn’t sure if she should take the risk or should she live with the shame. She finally decided and took the risk. The risk could destroy her life or it could be the most wonderful thing in her life, but she took the chance anyway.

As she eased the door open, she felt a swift breeze. She could smell the aroma of peaches and she could feel the dampness in the moist air. She thought that maybe this could be a wonderful adventure, but Truckee Talmon wasn’t sure. As she stepped inside, she discovered that it wasn’t just a closet. It was a forest.

A blizzard was about to occur. Winds began breezing, then blowing faster. Suddenly the fierce wind began to blow so fast that the wind could blow the stars out of the starlit sky. The blizzard began. As the blizzard occurred and as Truckee Talmon flew from side-to-side in the forest, she thought about if she was ever going to get out of there. It didn’t seem like she was going to get out of there at all. Truckee Talmon’s mind blew around like the wind. She couldn’t think!

The closet door swooshed open wider than it had been and out went Truckee Talmon. She ended up on the floor of the empty room. “Ahhhhhh!” she screamed.

“What’s wrong?” a voice said strangely, coming out of nowhere.

Now this really made Truckee Talmon think about where she was. She squinted and found herself in her room, lying on her homework. She had dozed off while doing her homework. It was her mom who had been asking her what was wrong. That was all a dream. The bad thing about it was that Truckee Talmon never had an adventurous dream like that ever again.

Jason Justice
by Jason, fifth grade writer

The explorer, Jason Justice, had just crashed in the middle of the northern jungle, right in front of a dark cave. It felt like someone was pushing him into the darkness. When he was in the cave, he felt scared. Luckily he brought matches. He searched in his pockets, then he poked his finger into a hole. He checked all over his body. He found the pack of matches in his shoe.

All of a sudden he heard a roar deeper into the cave. Jason Justice slowly walked toward where the roar came from. He used x-ray vision to detect where the vicious animal’s roar came from. It was to the right of his shoulder.

There he saw the glowing white eyes of his predator. The beast charged at him. When the beast got entirely out of the darkness, Jason noticed it was a lion. The lion leaped toward him as Jason crouched down. He stood up, and soon Jason Justice was rescued by an airplane and he knew he was ready for his next adventure.

Golden Tiger
by Leo, fifth grade adventure writer

In the early 16th century, there was a statue called the golden tiger that got lost in the jungle. So they sent Dr. Evil. He sounds like an evil guy, but he is one of the best for going on adventures. He went to the jungle and tried to find the tiger.

When Dr. Evil finally arrived at the jungle, the first thing he saw that gave him a creepy feeling was a dark cave. He was afraid of the dark, but he still went in because he was going to be the first man that found the golden tiger. It was a big hole. He climbed down the vines so he could get there.

He finally got to the bottom. He took the golden tiger, but he was not that smart because he set the alarm off? He ran and fell in another hole. He threw a rope and pulled himself up. He ran as fast as he could because the cave was collapsing. He had no way out except a little hole in the wall.

He started to crawl in this hole, but he knew that something was missing. It was the statue. He crawled back and got it. Just then the hole got covered by a huge piece of rock, so he ran to the wall and broke it open to get out. Now he was injured.

And he still needed to find a way to get his girlfriend who was being held prisoner. To be continued…


Skyscraper Bailey’s Adventure of the Night
by Hannah, fifth grade adventure writer

It was a kind of night for an adventurous stroll through the neighborhood. When I was passing by my friend’s house, I noticed that the door was broken and wide open. I could see glass and wood everywhere. The whole door was torn to shreds. I was eager to get closer and get a better look. I crouched down low, close to the cold wet ground. I crawled like I was in the Army and getting away from my enemy and got to the door.

I got up, sneaked in and got to the off-white, marble kitchen. All of a sudden I heard a loud shriek! I peered around the corner. I saw my friend’s little girl who apparently was home alone. She was on the ground screaming for dear life. It sounded like a rabbit that just got attacked by a coyote.

I crawled cautiously to her to see if she was hurt, but she wasn’t. I asked her what happened. She said, “The phone rang. It was my mom. She was calling to check in on me like she always does. We talked for a little and then I hung up. I went to my room to watch my favorite TV show that I watch every night. I heard a loud noise, but I thought it was just the TV so I didn’t worry about it. After my show was over, I went to go to the bathroom. Right when I stepped out of my room, I saw a guy that was holding all of my Mom’s jewels and money. I screamed and he put a blanket over my head. I heard him go through the back door and then you came.”

I said, “He probably got away, but I’ll call the police to go look for him. But the most important thing is for you to be okay. Are you okay?”

“I already told you I’m fine.”

(Click here to print just these four fifth grade samples to share with your fifth graders.)


Student Samples: Sixth Grade

Lucky Justice in the Imaginary House in the Forest
by Sandy, sixth grade adventure writer

Lucky Justice was taking her afternoon run, but she decided to run through the forest. She had never gone through the forest. At first, there were a couple of people, but then the forest cleared out. Lucky walked across a small path. The visibility of it wasn’t very good. All of a sudden she heard a loud screech then she felt a cold chill. “Ahhhhh!” it went. Lucky went white as a ghost!

She called out, “’Tis someone there?” then waited for an answer. She heard no more, so she ignored what had happened and walked on. She spotted a huge rock. She went over it and thought she saw something behind it. She walked on the other side of the rock and saw something she hadn’t seen at first. It was a little house. She wondered and thought about it. She had run around the whole little forest and had never seen that old house.

She walked onto the porch and examined the house. Then she knocked on the door. It screeched open. She walked in and noticed something or someone. It looked like an old woman. Lucky thought she shouldn’t disturb the woman, so she turned around and started walking out when she heard the woman call her name. “Lucky,” the old woman called.

Lucky became terrified and started towards the door. Suddenly the door slammed closed nearly on her face. She looked around and saw no one, not even the old house. She didn’t see the old woman either. She thought it was all in her imagination, but then she spotted something on the ground right next to the rock. It read, “In memory of Mrs. Marie Lansern 1943-1994.” She thought that Mrs. Marie Lansern was the old lady who she saw and maybe this was her property. Maybe her house used to be here.

She thought she should leave the property alone, so she quickly left. Lucky was terrified, but she was happy that she learned not to mess with anyone’s property.


The Mission on the Island
by Gregorio, sixth grade adventure writer

My name is Pyro Steel, and I was on a mission to find the first statue made out of gold. I was on an island, walking around, when I saw a small cave. I went inside and I barely fit. It looked like I was stuck in the cave with spiders on the wall and slime all over. It felt yucky all over. I went all the way in when I got out back on my feet.

The cave was bigger now, so I got all the way in. I saw the glowing statue and I grabbed it. All of the sudden the ground started to rumble. There was a humongous one-eyed monster running towards me. I started running to the small part of the cave. I tripped on a rock, and I dropped the statue. I looked back and went back to get it. The monster jumped and made a crack, and the floor separated.

I jumped and I grabbed the edge of the ground, but it broke off. I used my other hand to grab it. I stood up on my feet and I ran. I barely made it out of the cave. I found the small tunnel and crawled for my life.

I saw an airplane flying overhead. I screamed, “Hey!” Then the airplane came down and I went home safely.

(Click here to print just these two sixth grade samples to share with your sixth graders.)

 


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