This Lesson's Title:

Show What Your Mind Sees

using showing and telling together effectively

This lesson was created for WritingFix after being proposed by former NNWP Co-Directors
Kay Henjum and Liesel O'Hagan.

The intended "mentor text" to be used when teaching this on-line lesson is the chapter book The Twits by Roald Dahl. Before writing, students should listen to and discuss the writing style of this book's author, especially from chapter 16 of the book.

Check out The Twits at Amazon.com.

If you are a Washoe County teacher, click here to search for this book at the county library.

Teacher Instructions & Lesson Resources:

Step one (sharing the published model):  Write the sentence "His beard was dirty" on the board.  Have the students talk about what details they might add to this description in order to make all readers see the exact same dirty beard in their minds.  Have students talk about how they all see slightly different dirty beards in their minds, because the sentence didn't go to the trouble of making sure everyone saw the same details.

Read the chapter from The Twits entitled "Dirty Beards."  After hearing Dahl's remarkable showing language, have students draw Mr. Twit, using details they remember from the chapter.  Talk about the purpose of showing in writing: to make sure all the readers get the same picture in their minds.  Dahl knew what details he wanted to show so the reader would see the same beard that he intended.

Tell students they will be writing descriptive paragraphs today that attempt to show readers the exact same details the writer sees in his/her mind before writing.

Step two (introducing student models of writing):  In small groups, have your students read and respond to any or all of the student models that come with this lesson.  The groups should certainly talk about the organization, since that's this lesson's focus trait, but you might prompt your students to talk about each model's sentence fluency as well.

• A class of first graders share their descriptive writing and their class brainstorms
• Four 4th graders share their organized showing paragraphs

Step three (thinking and pre-writing): Have an overhead version of the graphic organizer below as well as copies for the individual student writers.  Use the overhead to do a class model of this writing.  Write "The student was angry" in the correct space on the overhead graphic organizer.  Invite several students to come up to the front and to act--without using any words--that shows an angry student.  Encourage each student to do different things; there are many ways to show one is angry.  After each performance, ask the other students to shout out verbs, nouns, and adjectives based on the students' performances.  Put them on the graphic organizer.  As a class, compose four or five showing sentences based on the class cluster.  Have students choose their own telling sentences (either from the interactive button game on the Student Instruction Page or from a list you have made for them). 

While they are completing their own graphic organizers, transform the overhead version into a paragraph on the board (adding revisions, if needed).  Use the original telling sentence somewhere in the paragraph to show them how it is done.

• pre-writing worksheet

Step four (revising with specific trait language):   To promote response and revision to rough draft writing, attach WritingFix's Revision and Response Post-Its to your students' drafts.  Make sure the students rank their use of the trait-specific skills on the Post-Its, which means they'll only have one "1" and one "5."   Have them commit to ideas for revision based on their Post-It rankings.  For more ideas on WritingFix's Revision & Response Post-Its, click here.

• Sheet of 6 Organization Post-It Notes
• Sheet of 6 Sentence Fluency Post-It Notes

Step five (editing for conventions):  After students apply their revision ideas to their drafts and re-write neatly, require them to find an editor.   If you've established a "Community of Editors" among your students, have each student exchange his/her paper with multiple peers.  With yellow high-lighters in hand, each peer reads for and highlights suspected errors for just one item from the Editing Post-it.  The "Community of Editors" idea is just one of dozens and dozens of inspiring ideas that is talked about in detail in the Northern Nevada Writing Project's Going Deep with 6 Trait Language Workbook for Teachers.

Step six (publishing for the portfolio):   When they are finished revising and have second drafts, invite your students to come back to this piece once more during an upcoming writer's workshop block.  Their stories might become a longer story, a more detailed piece, or the beginning of a series of pieces about the story they started here.  Students will probably enjoy creating an illustration for this story as they get ready to publish it for their portfolios.

Interested in publishing student work on-line?  We invite student writers to post final drafts of their original at WritingFix's Community of Student Writers.  This is a safe-to-use blog for students and teachers. No writing is posted until it is approved by the moderator. Contact us at publish@writingfix.com if you have questions about getting your students published.

Learn more about author Roald Dahl by clicking here.