Student Samples Page:
Show What Your Mind Sees
using showing and telling together
to organize a paragraph
The writing of author Roald Dahl is inspiring student writers to try new techniques with the traits of organization and sentence fluency. Join us in teaching (and adapting) this on-line lesson and sharing your students' work.
You can publish up to three of your students' edited and finished stories at this page.
Use these samples to inspire your student writers! Discussing the strengths of published student samples before, while, and after using this on-line assignment is important. If your students are engaged in trait- or skill-inspired discussions about any of the samples we've posted here, they will produce better writing, especially if you help them take their writing all the way through the writing process.
Thank you, those who share their students' writing with us.
We'd love to see new student samples from any grade level for this writing assignment!
We would love to see either polished paragraphs
or photos of writer's notebook pages!
Student Samples Being Sought:
Grades 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12
Learn more about WritingFix's policies for publishing student work by visiting our Publishing Student Writers Information Page.
WritingFix is currently seeking additional student samples from this writing assignment that can be featured in this space. Submitted student work must show evidence of revision, editing, and the final draft must be typed and sent through e-mail. Teachers: if you can help us obtain up to three student samples, along with a digital photo of the student(s) and a signed permission slips, we will send you either a complimentary copy of one of the Northern Nevada Writing Project's print publications.
To have us consider your students' writing for inclusion on this page, you must post the writing to our Ning page dedicated to this lesson. Click here to access that page. You must first be a member of the Writing Lesson of the Month Network in order to post.
Student Samples: Upper Elementary
The bluebirds tweeted their cute little songs, and the crickets sang theirs. We rode our bikes and sang for hours. Each day we hiked for a really long time. The vacation was fun!
from the writer's notebook of Jordan, fourth grade writer
One day the radio said someone could win a vacation and we won! I went to the beach. I jumped on the bed. I swam in the water. I went to the water park. The vacation was fun. When we got home, I went to sleep like a baby. Zzzzzz.
from the writer's notebook of Darius, fourth grade writer
(Click here to see and print these examples as well as the examples of several of Jordan and Darius's classmates.)
Student Sample: High School
When the students walked into the classroom, they felt very cold as if they walked into a dark cave. This coldness sent shivers down their spines, making the little hairs on their necks and backs stand up. Once they met the teacher, they were so scared of her, they turned as white as ghosts. This teacher would give you a deathly glare if you moved an inch. The students were not allowed to do anything. Even if they could, they wouldn’t dare to. Obviously, the teacher was strict and mean.
from the writer's notebook of Brianna, tenth grade writer