An I-Pod Inspired Writing Lesson from WritingFix
Focus Trait: IDEA DEVELOPMENT Support Trait: WORD CHOICE

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On-line Publishing:

Publish your students at our Ning!
(You must be a member of our "Writing Lesson of the Month" ning to post.)

Student Samples Page:
One Minute in Time Poems

using onomatopoeia and The Cure to inspire a free-verse poem from your students

A song by The Cure is inspiring student writers to try new techniques with the traits of idea development and word choice.

You can publish up to three of your students' edited and finished stories at this page.

Use these samples to inspire your student writers! Discussing the strengths of published student samples before, while, and after using this on-line assignment is important. If your students are engaged in trait- or skill-inspired discussions about any of the samples we've posted here, they will produce better writing, especially if you help them take their writing all the way through the writing process.

Thank you, those who share their students' writing with us.


Student Samples Being Sought:
Grades 5, 9, 10, 11, 12

Learn more about WritingFix's policies for publishing student work by visiting our Publishing Student Writers Information Page.

WritingFix is currently seeking additional student samples from this writing assignment that can be featured in this space. Submitted student work must show evidence of revision, editing, and the final draft must be typed and sent through e-mail. Teachers: if you can help us obtain one, two or three student samples, along with a digital photo of the student(s) and a signed permission slips, we will send you either a complimentary copy of one of the Northern Nevada Writing Project's print publications.

To have us consider your students' writing for inclusion on this page, you must post the writing to our Ning page dedicated to this lesson. Click here to access that page. You must first be a member of the Writing Lesson of the Month Network in order to post.

Student Samples: Elementary

8:00 p.m.
by Brendan, fourth grade poet

on a dark night
3-2 count, bases loaded
2 outs and everybody depending on me
to hit a home run
score is 10-7, the pitcher throws it
my heart is pounding
bum-bum, bum-bum, bum-bum

Smack! It has a chance of going over
I am running first as hard as I can
Boom! It hit the fence
I am going to second
I am going home
bum-bum, bum-bum, bum-bum
I made it home!

 

lightning in the night
by Amelia, fourth grade poet

dry moist air in the dark clouds
New York City paused in silence
buildings are lit up
like Christmas trees
when fiery light pops in the world
crackle, crackle, crackle, crackle

Burning light finds its way
to the tallest building
speeding faster than light
and with a blink of an eye
the empire goes to the ground
up in flames
crash, crash, crash, crash

 

Anticipation
by Michael, fourth grade poet

walking
up to the plate
my mom smiling at me
the fresh smell of dirt
the sound of cheering
thump, thump, thump, thump

the grip of the bat
swaying back and forth
over my head
the taste of bubblegum
the pitch is thrown
clang the ball goes soaring
clang, clang, clang, clang

 

Awkward
by Naomi, sixth grade poet

Awkward
The awkwardness gets bigger
As I try to think of something to say.
Our footsteps go farther
As we walk down that long hallway together.
But all that comes is footsteps, one after the other,
Step step step step one after the other.

Thinking
Thinking of something to say.
Why can't he say anything either
As we still walk down that long hallway?
God, though its only been one minute
Its feels as if its been hours.
And the footsteps go on
Step step step step one after the other.

Wer'e almost there.
Almost.

Student Samples: Middle School

Princess
by Nicole, seventh grade poet

Boredom
Bothered with agony
While starlings dance under the fully lit room
And I’m waiting in a midnight pose
And the trees whistle
Swish, swish, swish, swish

Wondering
How long I’ve waited
And I’m dreaming of his face
And I’m sighing for all of the wasted time
And the frogs sing
Croak, croak, croak, croak

I can save myself.

 

11:15
by Jordan, seventh grade poet

11:15 on a Friday night
And the wind pounds
On the window pane
And I’m pacing ‘round the living room
And the wind howls
Owoo, owoo, owoo, owoo

Waiting
For the email she’ll send
I’m thinking about what she’s do-in
And I’m whining for yesterday
And the wind howls
Owooo, owoo, owoo, owoo

Every night it’s the same.

 

(Click here to view and print Nicole and Jordan's one-minute-in-time poems.)


Smoldering Fire
by Luke, eighth grade poet

Anger
Red anger penetrates my mind
I say I want to resolve these problems
Paradoxically, I never really try
This smoldering fire burns persistently
This taste is too bitter for the tongue
This smoldering fire enrages
My fist pounds the table
Bang, bang, bang, bang

Anguish
There must be intense fog between us
Because you never see my side
Feeling like a bridge
Everyone walks all over me
Just to get over me
This all leaves me downcast
Now so diminutive and frail
This smoldering fire enrages
My fist pounds the table
Bang, bang, bang, bang


(Click here to view and print Luke's one-minute-in-time poems.)


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