A Few Words to Live By
by Katee, eleventh grade writer
Life is not about being the best, but doing your best. Too many times kids are told that being better than everyone else will lead to success; it’s kind of like survival of the fittest. Well, that doesn’t work in reality.
Here are just a few words to live by.
Be honest. Honesty, along with communication, is absolutely essential in a relationship of any kind.
Speak the truth; tell no lies.
Society doesn’t like liars. They are all hellish beings who only aggravate those around them.
Have respect. Honor those who show you love and kindness. Memorize the “Golden Rule.” Treat others the way you want to be treated. If you want to be listened to, listen to whoever is speaking. Have respect for YOURSELF, first and foremost.
Don’t fall asleep in class; it’ s austerely disrespectful and rude. We don’t like people like that either. Let’s check the standings so far. Polite people: 2; Liars and jerks: nada.
Have compassion. Be sentimental, not bitter. Being a heartless you-know-what is unattractive EVERYWHERE. So when your cat tries to jump from the desk to the table and misses by three feet, don’t laugh; hold him gently and say, “ It’s okay Porky, we’ll work more on your speed, momentum, and jump later this week.” He’ll be one happy little kitty.
Don’t burp extremely loud then laugh. Say “Excuse me” first; then you can giggle a tad...ONLY A TAD.
Intelligence is the key. Don’ t be some 32-year-old uneducated bum who refused to do work in high school and is now living on the streets or with his mommy eating Captain Crunch for breakfast, Apple Jacks for lunch, and Cookie Crisp for dinner.
Gain some fruitful knowledge; don’t be doubtin’ your ability to actually know more than you know now. GO TO SCHOOl and DO SOME WORK. Graduate.
Read some poetry, not books. Dr. Seuss has NOTHIN’ on Edgar Allan Poe. Raise your reading level.
Be neutral in all that you do. Don’ t participate in or cause ridiculous conflicts; you’ ll only look like, well, an idiot. So if some guy with no more brains than a coffee cup tries to call you out, don’t fight; give him a complicated calculus problem that he alone, without any help, has to solve before you’ll accept his challenge. You’ll be married, have kids, and be living in France before he figures out what five times five is.
When that snotty girl thinks you’re ugly, don’ t fight back with your words, nor your fists; giggle and say, “ I’m sorry you feel that way.” There’s no possible way to respond to that, and “Your mom goes to college” doesn’ t count as a counterattack.
Go skinny-dipping at least once.
Industriousness is nothing to fear. Working hard WILL lead to success; however, “working hard” to beat that darn videogame or “working hard” to make your MySpace page just SPARKLE won’ t ever fall under the “Acceptable” category in life. Don’ t be lazy; procrastination is the DEVIL.
Do five cartwheels at least once every day.
Love: meaning the verb, not the noun. Obtain it and give it at the same time. Don’t say “I love you” unless you truly mean it; it is only truly meant when it is unconditional. Never say HATE. It’s a terrible word that harbors too much anger and sadness. Love your friends, family, and anyone who is sincerely worth your love: the best friend you’d never date, but who adores the heck out of you. Don’ t waste your time showering your love upon someone who isn’ t worth your time. Love YOURSELF. Loving anyone else is impossible unless you first love yourself.
Spend one day as the opposite sex.
Be dedicated, have dedication. Don’t break promises; better yet, don’ t make promises you can’ t keep. If you say you’re going to go to Roller Disco Night at the local skating rink, you better do it, and with a happy smile and a huge afro too. BE FAITHFUL. Cheaters are GROSS and DISGUSTING and a WASTE OF TIME. Also, remember that love thing? “Don’ t waste your time showering your love upon someone who isn’ t worth your time.” Unfaithful, lying, jerks, male or female, don’ t deserve your dedication to them. Roasting marshmallows at your kitchen table with a vanilla-scented candle is a better use of your time than being dedicated to someone who is unfaithful.
Ride a unicycle at least once in your lifetime.
Cleanliness: DON’ T BE DIRTY. That’s just revolting. Take care of yourself. Eat healthy food, not food that YOU think is healthy. Yes, I’m talking about those “Heath Food Imposters.” Cheetos? Not healthy. I don’ t care how much you try to convince us that the cheese is good; that it’s dairy. Nope, I don’ t think so. Oh, and hot dogs are disgusting. Do some research; you’ ll never eat them again.
SHOWER. Take care of yourself and everything around you. Clean, shiny hair: pretty; coarse, greasy hair: not so pretty. Wear body spray, but don’ t go overboard on your dad’s Old Spice or your designer Paris Hilton perfume.
Smile superbly at one single stranger every day.
Conserve. Be frugal. Don’t be wastin’ paper, money, NOTHIN’. Recycle your plastic bottles, computer paper, glass, soda cans…NOT beer cans OR bottles; you shouldn’t be drinking that calorie-infested, icky-tasting, give-you-a-beer-belly-and-a-hairy-chest-before-you-turn-twenty-two alcoholic beverage. Don’ t waste food. If you make food for five and are the only one eating, invite over a few friends.
Don’ t eat moldy bread.
Read up on fun facts; you’ll feel super-duper smart.
Pee your name in the snow only once, then take a picture and cherish it forever; frame it.
“Dream as if you’ll live forever; live as if you’ll die today.”
Your job description is as follows:
- Do as you're told;
- Do your BEST in school, and not what YOU think is your best;
- Be a kid as long as possible, but for everyone else’s sake, don’t go to a concert when you’re seventy-four in your belly shirts and short skirts or baggy pants and wife-beaters and dance like you did fifty-six years ago; you may just throw out a hip.
HAVE FUN; WORK HARD; LOVE YOURSELF!