A Literature-Inspired Writing Lesson from WritingFix
Focus Trait: IDEA DEVELOPMENT Support Trait: SENTENCE FLUENCY

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A Monster of a Metaphor

creating an extended metaphor with sentences that flow

The writing of author John Steinbeck is inspiring student writers to try new techniques with the traits of idea development and sentence fluency.

Students can self-publish their writing done to this lesson by clicking here.

 


Student Sample Being Sought: Middle School

WritingFix is currently seeking a 6th, 7th, or 8th grade student's sample from this writing assignment that can be featured here. Submitted student work must show evidence of revision, editing, and the final draft must be typed and sent through e-mail. Teachers: if you can help us obtain up to three student samples, along with a digital photo of the students and a signed permission slips, we will send you either a complimentary copy of the Northern Nevada Writing Project's Secondary Writing Guide, or you may choose from any of our NNWP publications.

Write to us at publish@writingfix.com and use 'Grapes of Wrath' in your e-mail's subject line, if you have a student sample to share with us.


Student Sample Being Sought: High School

WritingFix is currently seeking a 9th or 10th grade student's sample from this writing assignment that can be featured here. Submitted student work must show evidence of revision, editing, and the final draft must be typed and sent through e-mail. Teachers: if you can help us obtain up to three student samples, along with a digital photo of the students and a signed permission slips, we will send you either a complimentary copy of the Northern Nevada Writing Project's Secondary Writing Guide, or you may choose from any of our NNWP publications.

Write to us at publish@writingfix.com and use 'Grapes of Wrath' in your e-mail's subject line, if you have a student sample to share with us.


Student Sample: High School

Like a River
by Brent, eleventh grade writer

Jimmy walked through life struggling. He didn’t have a mother; she'd passed away a year ago. His father was struggling to give Jimmy the best life he could, but Jimmy didn’t care about life anymore. He tried his best to make his Dad proud but never succeeded. Jimmy was failing out of school fast, and he was not worried about anyone or anything anymore.

While walking to the bus stop, Jimmy saw an older lady--like his Grandma—who was walking her dog. He stopped to pet the dog before he finished walking to the bus, and before Jimmy left the lady said, “Hello, what’s your name?”

Jimmy replied calmly, “Jimmy.”

The old lady replied, “Well, it’s nice to meet you. I’m your new neighbor, Mrs. Cooper.” Jimmy realized that he had seen her move in the other day, and they said their goodbyes, so Jimmy wasn’t late.

That afternoon Jimmy made his way back to his house and he spotted Mrs. Cooper walking her dog again. Walking with Mrs. Cooper and her dog, Jimmy was amazed how lively and sporadic she was. When Mrs. Cooper invited Jimmy to come into her house and have some cookies and milk, Jimmy couldn’t resist. As Mrs. Cooper made the cookies, Jimmy was amazed at how well Mrs. Cooper flowed through the kitchen; she seemed like a river that had been running its course for years.

Mrs. Cooper reminded Jimmy of his Grandma, but Jimmy was still amazed at what Mrs. Cooper had gone through. The stories that she told were like the scenery--the trees and landscape features--on a river ride. She talked about how life was during the war, and did so with such rush it felt as though he was sitting on a hospital bed tending her patient’s wounds himself. Then she jumped onto different subjects, as if he had just passed a rapid and was moving onto the next set. The stories she told had twists and turns that no one could have predicted.

Mrs. Cooper asked Jimmy if he had homework, and he said, “I don’t ever do it, so I guess not.”

Mrs. Cooper looked stunned and asked Jimmy to get out his assignments. She sat with Jimmy for thirty minutes and helped him with his homework. She made his voyage fun in the beginning—ramped and exhilarating. Jimmy left Mrs. Cooper that day with a thought that he was a better person and would from then on have a tutor who would help him through any type of voyage.

(Click here to view/print Brent and two of his classmates' metaphor stories)

 


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