A Picture Book Writing Lesson from WritingFix

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Student Samples Page:
Between Repeated Lines

using repetitive lines to organize poems
about family members

The writing of author Mary Ann Hoberman is currently inspiring student writers to try new techniques with the traits of sentence fluency and word choice. Join us in teaching (and adapting) this on-line lesson and sharing your students' work.

You can publish up to three of your students' edited and finished stories at this page.

Use these samples to inspire your student writers! Discussing the strengths of published student samples before, while, and after using this on-line assignment is important. If your students are engaged in trait- or skill-inspired discussions about any of the samples we've posted here, they will produce better writing, especially if you help them take their writing all the way through the writing process.

Thank you, those who share their students' writing with us.

Additional Student Samples Being Sought:
Grades 3, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12

Learn more about WritingFix's policies for publishing student work by visiting our Publishing Student Writers Information Page.

WritingFix is currently seeking additional student samples from this writing assignment that can be featured in this space. Submitted student work must show evidence of revision, editing, and the final draft must be typed and sent through e-mail. Teachers: if you can help us obtain up to three student samples, along with a digital photo of the student(s) and a signed permission slips, we can help you make your students a bit more "famous" to the thousands of educators who access and use WritingFix lessons every day!

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Student Sample: Early Elementary

My Father
by Muhammad, second grade poet

My father has a smile,
His teeth shine,
His teeth shine.

He’s excited when he sees me,
He is kind,
He is kind.

His cheeks go up when he comes home,
He seems fine,
He seems fine.

I am happy when he smiles,
He is mine,
He is mine.

(Click here to view/print Muhammad and another second grader's poem.)

Student Samples: Upper Elementary

He is the Best Dad in the World
by Faizah, fourth grade poet

He is the best dad in the world
This is what he is like:
He sits with me almost every night.
He holds me on his lap nice and tight.

He is the best dad in the world.
This is what he is like:
He is happy to play games with us.
He plays without making a fuss.

He is the best dad in the world
This is what he is like:
He is gentle, kind and nice.
The good thing is he’s the one!!!

He is the best dad in the world
And that is what he is like!


My Loving Mother
by Hanifa, fifth grade poet

My mom is very friendly
In a jolly, helpful way.
She likes traveling to the bay
And hates packing moving day.

My mom is very friendly
In a jolly, helpful way.
She loves God’s creation
And soon will have her 40th birthday celebration.
At her job as a nurse, she is full of elation.

My mom is very friendly
In a jolly, helpful way,
And she loves to cook.
Her food is like food in the cookbook.
Our love for each other is like a hook.

My mom is very friendly
In a jolly, helpful way.

(Click here to view/print these fourth and fifth grade poems.)

Student Samples: Middle School

Adored and Far
by Michelle, sixth grade poet

My nana doesn’t live here anymore.
My nana got older, retired, and moved.
My nana moved to South Carolina.
My nana would always have a scent of coffee and cocoa butter.

I still cry.

My nana has been gone for a while.
My nana had a smile I couldn’t forget.
My nana always knew a way to be fair.
My nana was a master at ping pong, and she laughed when she messed up.

I still cry.

My nana had a loving and strong heart.
My nana told me right from wrong in her wise mind.
My nana always made me laugh.
My nana always wore her shimmery brown earth tone lipstick.

I still cry.

My nana had ways of making anyone smile.
My nana is happy now.

I’m happy now too.

(Click here to view/print Michelle's poem as well as two poems from her classmates.)

by Allison, seventh grade poet

Julie is my cousin
She is a lot of things
She does a lot of things
With all that she is
And all that she does
I can’t stand it
When she cheers for the Boston Red Sox.

She is funny and brilliant, creative and friendly
Realistic and silly, stubborn and fun
Dazzling and unique, all rolled into one
A motherly genius, an up-to-date pal
Yet with all that she is
And all that she does
I just can’t stand it
When she cheers for the Boston Red Sox.

She does many things
Loving, nice, helpful things
When caring for Jenny and me
Letting us wake her up by tickling her
Helping with whatever we may need
Annoying, evil, nasty things
Like not listening to our chatter
Silencing us
But with all that she is
And all that she does
I still can’t stand it
When she cheers for the Boston Red Sox.

And yet
She’s my best friend.

(Click here to view/print Allison's poem as well as three poems from her classmates.)

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