This Lesson's Title:

A Pet's
Adventure Story

learning to punctuate direct addresses in a voice-filled story

This lesson was built for WritingFix after being proposed by NNWP Teacher Consultant Torrey Palmer at an SBC-sponsored inservice class.

The intended "mentor text" to be used when teaching this on-line lesson is the picture book Good Boy, Fergus! by David Shannon. Before writing, students should listen to and discuss the writing style of this book's author.

Check out Good Boy, Fergus! at Amazon.com.

Washoe County teachers, click here to search for this book at the county library.

Teacher Instructions & Lesson Resources :

Pre-step (before sharing the published model):  Review interjections and imperative sentences with your students.

Write several short sentences with interjections where all can see them. "Wow, that's wonderful!" and "Gee, I don't know." are two good choices.

Write several short imperative sentences that might be spoken. "Go to your room!" and "Eat it before it gets cold." are two good choices.

Explain a direct address as the adding of a name to interjections and imperative sentences. Explain that when you add a direct address, you usually need to add a comma. Show this by modifying the sentences you have written.

• "Go to your room, Donna!" or "Donna, go to your room!"
• "Eat it before it gets cold, Seth." or "Seth, eat it before it gets cold."

Tell students you will be reading a story today that has lots of imperative sentences and interjections. It also has lots of direct addresses aimed at its main character: a dog named Fergus.

Step one (sharing the published model):  Read Good Boy, Fergus! multiple times with your class before giving out this writing assignment.

First, read it for pure pleasure. Laugh because it's hysterical.

Second, read it and look at the interjections, imperative sentences, and direct addresses.

Third, discuss the role that voice plays in making the book a successful story.  Point out how the entire text is written from the perspective of what Fergus hears all day from his owner.  Some things he listens to, but other things he clearly ignores (such as “FERGUS MACLAGGAN! You come here right now!”)  Notice how the author uses different sizes and colors of text to show emotion. 

Reread the story once more, paying even closer attention to the illustrations of Fergus, and how they complement the text. 

Tell students they will be planning to write a story today (real or fictional) that shares details about a pet who goes on an adventure. Along with their details, students will use interjections, imperative sentences, and direct addresses to give their story voice.

Step two (introducing models of writing):  Start the modeling by sharing a true pet adventure written by Corbett Harrison, WritingFix's webmaster.

• Pudge's Game of Chase: a teacher model

In small groups, have your students read and respond to any or all of the student models that come with this lesson.  The groups will certainly talk about the voice, since that's the focus of this lesson, but you might prompt your students to talk about each model's idea development as well.

• We're looking for more student samples for all grade levels for this prompt!  Help us get some, and we'll send you free books for your classroom!  Contact us at publish@writingfix.com for details.

Step three (thinking and pre-writing): Time to plan the story! Stress that the pet adventure story can be true or fictional, but if it's fictional, it should be realisitic. Fighting a lion is not a very realistic adventure for a real pet, but going to the grocery store might just be. Encourage students to lean towards the more realisitic idea for their adventures.

The students' stories, like the models, need to share the details of a complete adventure. In between the details, students need to use interjections, imperative sentences, and direct addresses in dialogue. To have dialogue, students should probably think about having at least one other character in their stories.

If students don't have a pet or an idea for an adventure, allow them to play the interactive button game on the Student Instructions Page. It will inspire them with ideas for an original adventure.

Then, have students use this story-planning sheet to plan their rough drafts.

Students can write their rough drafts on this two-page drafting sheet, which comes with a voice checklist for them to use when they have finished their rough drafts.

Step four (revising with specific trait language):  Two tools for revision are provided below.  You can use one or both, depending on how much time you have to spend on this assignment.

To promote response and revision to rough draft writing, attach WritingFix's Revision and Response Post-Its to your students' drafts.  Make sure the students rank their use of the trait-specific skills on the Post-Its, which means they'll only have one "1" and one "5."   Have them commit to ideas for revision based on their Post-It rankings.  For more ideas on WritingFix's Revision & Response Post-Its, click here.

• Sheet of 6 Voice Post-It Notes
• Sheet of 6 Idea Development Post-It Notes

Step five (editing for conventions):  After students apply their revision ideas to their drafts and re-write neatly, require them to find an editor.   If you've established a "Community of Editors" among your students, have each student exchange his/her paper with multiple peers.  With yellow high-lighters in hand, each peer reads for and highlights suspected errors for just one item from the Editing Post-it.  The "Community of Editors" idea is just one of dozens and dozens of inspiring ideas that is talked about in detail in the Northern Nevada Writing Project's Going Deep with 6 Trait Language Workbook for Teachers.

Step six (publishing for the portfolio):   When they are finished revising and have second drafts, invite your students to come back to this piece once more during an upcoming writer's workshop block.  Their stories might become a longer story, a more detailed piece, or the beginning of a series of pieces about the story they started here.  Students will probably enjoy creating an illustration for this story as they get ready to publish it for their portfolios.

Interested in publishing student work on-line?  We invite student writers to post final drafts of their original at WritingFix's Community of Student Writers.  This is a safe-to-use blog for students and teachers. No writing is posted until it is approved by the moderator. Contact us at publish@writingfix.com if you have questions about getting your students published.

Learn more about David Shannon's books
by clicking here!