This Lesson's Title:

Persuasive and Emotional Monologues

convincing something scary to leave your narrator alone

This lesson was built for WritingFix after being proposed by NNWP Consultant Amy Richards at an SBC-sponsored inservice class.

The intended "mentor text" to be used when teaching this on-line lesson is the picture book My Brother Dan's Delicious by Steven L. Layne. Before writing, students should listen to and discuss the writing style of this book's author, focusing on the persuasive techniques used by the main character and narrator of the story.

Check out My Brother Dan's Delicious at Amazon.com.

Washoe County teachers, click here to search for this book at the county library.

Teacher Instructions & Lesson Resources :

Pre-step (before sharing the published model):  Review the poetic device of personification, where an abstract idea is given human qualities or the characteristics of a living thing.

When an abstract or body-less noun (like the wind, like love, like fear, like bad luck) is personified, a writer can address it like it is a living thing. Tell your students they will be addressing a personified something in their writing assignment today.

Step one (sharing the published model):  Teachers should stress, as they read My Brother Dan's Delicious aloud, what the author has done particularly well in writing this story: in this case how Stephen L. Layne’s main character uses a personal monologue to tell a story. The narrator's fear is personified, and the narration tries to convince the personified emotion to do anything else than come after him.

Make a list of interesting abstract nouns that might make interesting personifications. Since Layne chose fear, explore other concepts that--once personified--might be asked to leave a narrator's presence, if the narrator found himself/herself alone with the concept. For example,

• bad luck
• poverty
• racism
• anger
• bad weather
• etc.

Ask students to fold a piece of paper in half--hamburger style! On the left-hand side of the fold, have students write the word "fear," and then sketch what they think the monster in My Brother Dan's Delicious looks like. Ask them to label interesting details with arrows and words; for example, they might draw an arrow to the hands and write "razor-sharp claws." Encourage great word choice during this. Try to have all students label five or six interesting details about their personified fear sketch. Clothes, accessories, or physical features are the types of things the students should be labeling here.

After students have sketched the personified fear from the book, tell them they will next be sketching an original personified idea. Have them choose one of the abstract nouns from the class list, write it on the right-hand side of their paper's fold, and sketch their original personification. A person or a creature should be what they sketch...and they should include five or six interesting labels on this side of the paper too.

Have students share their sketches. Encourage them to share additional ideas for labels on their friend's pictures. The more labels students have on their pictures, the easier it will be for them to create their writing.

Tell students they will be writing a monologue today where they (or a fictional narrator) find themselves in a situation where they are alone with their personified person/creature, and they need to convince the personification to leave them alone.

Step two (introducing models of writing):  In small groups, have your students read and respond to any or all of the student models that come with this lesson.  The groups will certainly talk about the voice, since that's the focus of this lesson, but you should prompt your students to talk about each model's word choice as well.

• We're looking for student samples from all grade levels for this newly revised lesson. Visit our student samples page for information.

Step three (thinking, talking, and pre-writing): Ask your students to re-examine their original personified drawing. Ask, "Where might you find yourself alone with your personified creature/person? What would the situation be? What if you knew your personification was near and wanted to convince it to leave you alone...now...and forever? What would you say to persuade it?"

Re-read all or some of My Brother Dan's Delicious again. Explain what a monologue is. Tell students they will be writing a monologue to tell their stories, and have them listen for the qualities of a monologue. Ask them also to listen for persuasive techniques used by the narrator, as well as for words that convey emotion.

Say, "To get a good assessment on this writing assignment, I need you to a) make sure what you've written is a monologue, b) use persuasive techniques to convince your personification to leave you alone, and c) convey emotion. Your voice and your word choice will help you do well on this piece of writing."

Students should place their personified drawings in front of them as they prepare to write. If students don't have an idea for a personification to address or a situation to write about, they can play the interactive button game on the Student Instructions Page. It might inspire them with ideas for an original story.

Students can write their rough drafts on this two-page drafting sheet, which comes with a voice checklist for them to use when they have finished their rough drafts.

As students write, stop them occasionally and read out loud a piece of the emotional monologue from the mentor text. Point out something the author has done well with each excerpt. Challenge students to use a similar technique as they continue their drafts.

Step four (revising with specific trait language):  Two tools for revision are provided below.  You can use one or both, depending on how much time you have to spend on this assignment.

To promote response and revision to rough draft writing, attach WritingFix's Revision and Response Post-Its to your students' drafts.  Make sure the students rank their use of the trait-specific skills on the Post-Its, which means they'll only have one "1" and one "5."   Have them commit to ideas for revision based on their Post-It rankings.  For more ideas on WritingFix's Revision & Response Post-Its, click here.

• Sheet of 6 Voice Post-It Notes
• Sheet of 6 Word Choice Post-It Notes

Step five (editing for conventions):  After students apply their revision ideas to their drafts and re-write neatly, require them to find an editor.   If you've established a "Community of Editors" among your students, have each student exchange his/her paper with multiple peers.  With yellow high-lighters in hand, each peer reads for and highlights suspected errors for just one item from the Editing Post-it.  The "Community of Editors" idea is just one of dozens and dozens of inspiring ideas that is talked about in detail in the Northern Nevada Writing Project's Going Deep with 6 Trait Language Workbook for Teachers.

Step six (publishing for the portfolio):   When they are finished revising and have second drafts, invite your students to come back to this piece once more during an upcoming writer's workshop block.  Their monologues might become a longer story, a more detailed piece, or the beginning of a series of pieces about the story they started here.  Students will probably enjoy creating a final draft of an illustration for this story as they get ready to publish it for their portfolios.

Interested in publishing student work on-line?  We invite student writers to post final drafts of their original at WritingFix's Community of Student Writers.  This is a safe-to-use blog for students and teachers. No writing is posted until it is approved by the moderator. Contact us at publish@writingfix.com if you have questions about getting your students published.

Learn more about author Stephen L. Laybe by clicking here!