This Lesson's Title:

An Onomatopoetic Field Trip

using onomatopoeia to tell the story of an imaginary field trip

This lesson was created for WritingFix after being proposed by Northern Nevada teacher Karen Mitchell an an NNWP inservice class.

The intended "mentor text" to be used when teaching this on-line lesson is the picture book Rattletrap Car by Phyllis Root. Before writing, students should listen to and discuss the writing style of this book's author.

Check out Rattletrap Car at Amazon.com.

Washoe County teachers, click here to search for this book at the county library.

Teacher Instructions & Lesson Resources :

Step two…introducing student models of writing:  In small groups, have your students read and respond to any or all of the student models that come with this lesson.  The groups will certainly talk about the word choice, since it's the focus of the lesson, but you might prompt your students to talk about each model's idea development as well.

• A first-grader, second-grader, and third-grader share their onomatopoetic stories
• We're looking for student samples from grades not represented here yet. Visit our student samples page for information.

Step three (thinking and pre-writing): The interactive button game on the Student Instructions Page will get your students thinking about field trip location choices and onomatopoeia choices. Your students can certainly brainstorm original locations and onomatopoetic words for this assignment.

Once students have chosen a location to visit in their imaginary field trips, ask them to spend some time brainstorming an exciting moment that might happen on this field trip.

I always ask my students to plan their stories' exciting moments in three parts. I say, "First, what will happen? How will the exciting moment begin? You know you'll have enough details when you can tell me just about the first part in four or five sentences. Can you use at least one onomatopoetic word to help tell this part of the exciting moment?" Let students brainstorm on their own pieces of paper.

Then I say, "Next, what will happen to continue this exciting moment? You know you'll have enough details when you can tell me just about the second part in four or five sentences. Can you use at least one onomatopoetic word to help tell this part of the exciting moment?" Continue brainstorming.

After that I say, "What will happen to bring this exciting moment to a close? You know you'll have enough details when you can tell me just about the third part in four or five sentences. Can you use at least one onomatopoetic word to help tell this part of the exciting moment?" Continue brainstorming.

Once students have brainstormed their exciting moment in three parts, ask them, "How will you introduce this field trip and the exciting moment that is about to happen to your reader? How can you launch them into this story without giving every detail in the world? Can you write a four- or five-sentence introduction that sets up the exciting moment?" You might pass out the Little Red Riding Hooks handout to help them begin with a very powerful sentence.

Finally, students can think about an interesting way to finish their stories?

Once students have thought about their story, have them discuss their plans with several other students. When students hear their own thinking aloud before writing, drafts become much better. Plus, they might pick up some good strategies for story-telling from their partners.

Students can draft their stories on the drafting sheet below. The onomatopoeia handout might help your students choose the perfect three or four examples of onomatopoeia to use in their stories.

• Two-page drafting sheet with word choice checklist
• WritingFix's list of onomatopoetic words.

Step four (revising with specific trait language):  Two tools for revision are provided below.  To promote response and revision to rough draft writing, attach WritingFix's Revision and Response Post-Its to your students' drafts.  Make sure the students rank their use of the trait-specific skills on the Post-Its, which means they'll only have one "1" and one "5."   Have them commit to ideas for revision based on their Post-It rankings.  For more ideas on WritingFix's Revision & Response Post-Its, click here.

• Sheet of 6 Word Choice Post-It Notes
• Sheet of 6 Idea Development Post-It Notes

Step five (editing for conventions):  After students apply their revision ideas to their drafts and re-write neatly, require them to find an editor.   If you've established a "Community of Editors" among your students, have each student exchange his/her paper with multiple peers.  With yellow high-lighters in hand, each peer reads for and highlights suspected errors for just one item from the Editing Post-it.  The "Community of Editors" idea is just one of dozens and dozens of inspiring ideas that is talked about in detail in the Northern Nevada Writing Project's Going Deep with 6 Trait Language Workbook for Teachers.

Step six (publishing for the portfolio):   When they are finished revising and have second drafts, invite your students to come back to this piece once more during an upcoming writer's workshop block.  Their stories might become a longer story, a more detailed piece, or the beginning of a series of pieces about the story they started here.  Students will probably enjoy creating an illustration for this story as they get ready to publish it for their portfolios.

Interested in publishing student work on-line?  We invite student writers to post final drafts of their original at WritingFix's Community of Student Writers.  This is a safe-to-use blog for students and teachers. No writing is posted until it is approved by the moderator. Contact us at publish@writingfix.com if you have questions about getting your students published.