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 Combining with Participial Phrases
verbs (serving as adjective phrases) that launch action-packed sentences
The writing of author Debbie Allen is currently inspiring student writers to try new techniques with the traits of sentence fluency and conventions.
Your students can also self-publish their writing to this lesson by clicking here. |
Student Sample: Elementary
(Samples posted at WritingFix underwent all steps of the writing process.)
 A Poodle
by Hanna, fourth grade writer
Tanning her skin at the beach, Chelsea watched the scintillating ocean under the sun. She had been putting on lipstick when a cute wedding dress-colored poodle padded over to her. Chelsea, reaching out to stroke the dog, felt shocked when he let out a shrieking yelp. The fourteen-year old girl glared at the animal angrily, turned on her heels, and stomped away on the squishy sand.
The dog gingerly followed the attractive girl to the spot where she decided to relax, hoping for another chance at friendship. Chelsea stretched out her hand, petting the scrumptious poodle. She adored him so much that she decided to take him home since he had no collar or other sign of someone owning him.
(Click here to view and print Hanna and two of her classmates'
participial phrase stories.)
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Student Sample Being Sought: Middle School
WritingFix is currently seeking a 7th or 8th grade student's sample from this writing assignment that can be featured in this space. Submitted student work must show evidence of revision, editing, and the final draft must be typed and sent through e-mail. Teachers: if you can help us obtain up to three student samples, along with a digital photo of the students and a signed permission slips, we will send you either a complimentary copy of the Northern Nevada Writing Project's Secondary Writing Guide, or you may choose from any of our NNWP publications.
Write to us at publish@writingfix.com and write "Dancing in the Wings" in your e-mail's subject line, if you have a student sample to share with us.
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Student Sample: High School
(Samples posted at WritingFix underwent all steps of the writing process.)
 The Swimmer
by Mara, ninth grade writer
Trying to steady my breathing, I sat down. The off-white chair engraved its plastic striped pattern onto my exposed legs. Goosebumps, overpowering my chilled skin, covered my body in seconds. My arm hairs stood on end as I tried to relax. The continuous gun shot made me jump each time it went off. Sitting alone, I searched for fellow competitors. Not one walked by looking friendly. I hid myself under my damp towel, allowing the infinite splashes of water to engulf my ears. Imagining my starting position, someone poked me on the shoulder with a sharp finger. My water-dried face felt as if it was about to crack and fall off. But lotion was the last of my worries. Wishing I was home, the finger poked again, this time impatiently. Revealing myself from the towel like a bear from hibernation, I hesitantly gazed up. The woman was my coach.
“You ready?” Her soft voice calmed my nervous stomach.
(Click here to view and print Mara's complete story as well as
one of her classmate's participial phrase stories.)
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