A Picture Book Writing Lesson from WritingFix
Focus Trait: SENTENCE FLUENCY Support Trait: CONVENTIONS

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Publish your students at our Ning!
(You must be a member of our "Writing Lesson of the Month" ning to post.)

Student Samples Page:
Showing with Participial Phrases

verbs (serving as adjective phrases) that launch action-packed sentences

The writing of author Debbie Allen is currently inspiring student writers to try new techniques with the traits of sentence fluency and conventions.Join us in teaching (and adapting) this on-line lesson and sharing your students' work.

You can publish up to three of your students' edited and finished stories at this page.

Use these samples to inspire your student writers! Discussing the strengths of published student samples before, while, and after using this on-line assignment is important. If your students are engaged in trait- or skill-inspired discussions about any of the samples we've posted here, they will produce better writing, especially if you help them take their writing all the way through the writing process.

Thank you, those who share their students' writing with us.

 

Additional Student Samples Being Sought:
Grades 3, 5, 6, 7, 8, 10, 11, 12

Learn more about WritingFix's policies for publishing student work by visiting our Publishing Student Writers Information Page.

WritingFix is currently seeking additional student samples from this writing assignment that can be featured in this space. Submitted student work must show evidence of revision, editing, and the final draft must be typed and sent through e-mail. Teachers: we accept up to three student samples per teacher per assignment, and we will ask you to help us obtain digital photors of your writer(s) and signed permission slips if we think the writing should become a part of the actual lesson here at WritingFix. Help us celebrate your student writers here online at WritingFix! The promise of online publication is a great motivational technique!

To have us consider your students' writing for inclusion on this page, you must post the writing to our Ning page dedicated to this lesson. Click here to access that page. You must first be a member of the Writing Lesson of the Month Network in order to post.

Student Sample: Elementary
(Samples posted at WritingFix underwent all steps of the writing process.)

A Poodle
by Hanna, fourth grade writer

Tanning her skin at the beach, Chelsea watched the scintillating ocean under the sun.  She had been putting on lipstick when a cute wedding dress-colored poodle padded over to her.  Chelsea, reaching out to stroke the dog, felt shocked when he let out a shrieking yelp.  The fourteen-year old girl glared at the animal angrily, turned on her heels, and stomped away on the squishy sand. 

The dog gingerly followed the attractive girl to the spot where she decided to relax, hoping for another chance at friendship. Chelsea stretched out her hand, petting the scrumptious poodle.  She adored him so much that she decided to take him home since he had no collar or other sign of someone owning him. 

(Click here to view and print Hanna and two of her classmates' participial phrase stories.)


Student Samples: High School
(Samples posted at WritingFix underwent all steps of the writing process.)

The Swimmer
by Mara, ninth grade writer

Trying to steady my breathing, I sat down. The off-white chair engraved its plastic striped pattern onto my exposed legs. Goosebumps, overpowering my chilled skin, covered my body in seconds. My arm hairs stood on end as I tried to relax. The continuous gun shot made me jump each time it went off. Sitting alone, I searched for fellow competitors. Not one walked by looking friendly. I hid myself under my damp towel, allowing the infinite splashes of water to engulf my ears. Imagining my starting position, someone poked me on the shoulder with a sharp finger. My water-dried face felt as if it was about to crack and fall off. But lotion was the last of my worries. Wishing I was home, the finger poked again, this time impatiently. Revealing myself from the towel like a bear from hibernation, I hesitantly gazed up. The woman was my coach.

“You ready?” Her soft voice calmed my nervous stomach.

(Click here to view and print Mara's complete story as well as
one of her classmate's participial phrase stories.)


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