A Picture Book Writing Lesson from WritingFix
Focus Trait: WORD CHOICE Support Trait: VOICE

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Student Writing Samples from this Lesson _________________

Publish your students at our Ning!
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Student Samples Page:
Characterization Paragraphs

using adjectives to inspire a descriptive character description

A great picture book by Mem Fox is inspiring our student writers to try new techniques with the traits of word choice and voice. This page celebrates some of our favorite submissions from teachers.

You can publish up to three of your students' edited and finished stories at this page.

Use these samples to inspire your student writers! Discussing the strengths of published student samples before, while, and after using this on-line assignment is important. If your students are engaged in trait- or skill-inspired discussions about any of the samples we've posted here, they will produce better writing, especially if you help them take their writing all the way through the writing process.

Thank you, those who share their students' writing with us.

Additional Student Samples Being Sought:
Grades 1, 4, 8, 9, 10, 12

Learn more about WritingFix's policies for publishing student work by visiting our Publishing Student Writers Information Page.

WritingFix is currently seeking additional student samples from this writing assignment that can be featured in this space. Submitted student work must show evidence of revision, editing, and the final draft must be typed and sent through e-mail.

To have us consider your students' writing for inclusion on this page, you must post the writing to our Ning page dedicated to this lesson. Click here to access that page. You must first be a member of the Writing Lesson of the Month Network in order to post.

Student Samples: Elementary

a sample written during one of Northern Nevada's TWIST Camps

by Carrie, first grade writer

Fish is playful and happy! He likes to play with me. Fishermen try to catch us, but we’re smarter than a fox. Fish and I are best friends, and we have fun. He is younger than I am, so I taught him how to swim. Fish is very scaly. Scales are all over him. Fish cracks me up, and Fish is faster than a lightning bolt. Also, he was sort of quiet. He doesn't ’t talk much. I think he is fantastic because he is funny. I love Fish, and Fish loves me.

a sample written during one of Northern Nevada's TWIST Camps

by Annabelle, second grade writer

Flippy is both jolly and kind. He always has a smile on his face because he really loves Toons. Flippy teaches them how to talk. He is helpful because Flippy always aides Toons all over the world. He has big ears, and the Toons always stare at them. Those ears are very exciting. Wow! He is fair when he tells Toons what to do. He is the new leader of Toon Town. Every Toon watches him because Flippy is as blue as the sea. Flippy is clever when he is listening like a rabbit. Every toon looks at him with pride. He is magnificent, just like rubies and diamonds. But the most important thing of all is that Flippy stays very jolly and kind.

(Click here to open/print Annabelle and one of her TWIST-classmate's stories.)

a sample written during one of Northern Nevada's TWIST Camps
Chet Gecko

by Wally, third grade writer

Chet Gecko is my friend. He’s one of the funniest guys I know because he’s a green gecko, super nice, and he's the detective of Emerson Hickey Elementary. Here’s one of his jokes: What’s the difference between a teacher and a train? A teacher says, “Spit out your gum” and a train says, “Chew, chew, chew.” Ha, ha! Also, he is very cunning, like you see him in the hall, and he sees his suspect, and then he’s off like a deer for a salt lick. Now that’s cunning! I like him because he’s so stubborn, like for instance we have the hardest case ever. It's called Mr. Nice. Chet's not gonna give up on it. That’s why I like him the most!

(Click here to open/print Wally and one of his TWIST-classmate's stories.)

a sample written during one of Northern Nevada's TWIST Camps
The Dancer

by Abigail, fifth grade writer

I can picture how graceful she dances. She is precise. She practices and practices so she is mistake-free on stage. She is dramatic. As she dances, she uses attitude to make sure the audience is content. She is beautiful. Appearance is very important, and she’s as beautiful as a daisy. She is intelligent. Being a dancer you must have courage to be on stage, and you must have intelligence. She is talented. She learns every move possible. She puts her heart into dancing. She is the best dancer I know. She is my best friend.


a sample written during one of Northern Nevada's TWIST Camps
My Cousin, the Dentist

by Elizabeth, sixth grade writer

I can picture my cousin working as hard as she can while poking and examining teeth because she is intelligent. My cousin will do whatever it takes to help people with bad teeth, and give yearly check-ups, for she is very helpful. I can picture my cousin overcome her fears by touching, examining, and repairing teeth. My cousin is indeed brave. She would never leave a patient behind, and the wonderful staff members just love her. My cousin is always careful when examining and she is always courageous. She is so generous to me and my delightful family. I never feel terrible when my cousin is around, and I am very thankful that I know such an extraordinary dentist.

Student Samples: Middle School

a sample from Mrs. Theofiles' class
The Actress
by Jennifer, seventh grade writer            

When she appears on the stage, she becomes a different person. She is no longer just the kid in third period English class who no one notices.  She has transformed into someone else.  She is dramatic.  She becomes her character, a heroine from times long ago.  She is creative.  She and everything around her sparkle, as if by magic.  She makes everyone believe she is her character.  She believes it, too.  She is precise as she floats across the stage, pleasing to the eye.  She is artistic, not afraid to shed her cloak of invisibility and stand out.  She is entertaining. Every eye is focused on her, spellbound.  As the curtain falls, the audience roars with approval.  She lives for this moment, and that moment is now. She is passionate about what she does.  She wishes this could never end. She is an actress, and her dream is fulfilled.

(Click here to view/print Jennifer and one of her classmate's perspective paragraphs)


Student Samples: High School

a sample from Mrs. Esposito's creative writing class
The Cheerleader

by Amanda, eleventh grade writer

As she strutted out to the floor, she showed attitude and intimidation toward her competitors. She was confident, and knew what she was doing. As she stood in front of the crowd, she did not look scared or nervous. She was the one girl I became to hate. She was beautiful, preppy, intelligent, and well-liked. Then there was me--the girl in the crowd, the nobody--but her, she was and had everything: a car, a boyfriend, good grades, great friends. She knew what she wanted on that floor and it was to win. As she performed her routine everything was perfect. She hit her motions hard. Every move she made was on the right count and flowed well. As the music stopped, the crowd roared. She was perfect. Although I had learned to hate her at that moment, I realized how she was everything I wanted to be. Perfect to everyone around her, she would be everything I wasn’t.

(Click here to view/print Amanda and two of her classmates' perspective paragraphs.)

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