A Picture Book Writing Lesson from WritingFix
Focus Trait: ORGANIZATION Support Trait: VOICE

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Fracturing Tales
through Titles

using EMPHASIS in a fairy tale scene
inspired by a clever title

The writing of author Bob Hartman is currently inspiring student writers to try new techniques with the traits of organization and voice. Join us in teaching (and adapting) this on-line lesson and sharing your students' work.

You can publish up to three of your students' edited and finished stories at this page.

Use these samples to inspire your student writers! Discussing the strengths of published student samples before, while, and after using this on-line assignment is important. If your students are engaged in trait- or skill-inspired discussions about any of the samples we've posted here, they will produce better writing, especially if you help them take their writing all the way through the writing process.

Thank you, those who share their students' writing with us.

Additional Student Samples Being Sought:
Grades 1, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12

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Student Samples: Early Elementary

The Three Bully Goats Gruff
by Ben, second grade writer

Once upon a time, there were three bully goats going to the meadow, but they had to cross a bridge to get there. Under this bridge there lived a nice troll. When the goats started to cross the bridge, they stomped very loudly: STOMP, STAMP, STOMP!

“Who is stomping on my bridge and breaking my dishes?” asked the good troll. He climbed up on the bridge, and the first bully goat knocked him off. POW! Then the first goat ran across.

The second goat walked over the bridge too because the poor troll was still in the water. When he finally climbed back up on the bridge, the third bully goat had to deal with the dripping wet troll, and WHACK! The goat butted him straight back into the water, and the three bully goats all got over to the meadow.

The bruised troll limped back under his bridge and avoided the bully goats from that day on.


The Hog Prince
by Trevor, third grade writer

Once upon a time, there was a RICH and spoiled princes who loved to play soccer. One day she was kicking her ball when a hog caught it. He said he would give it back to her if she would marry him. She said, “Yes, I will marry you,” because it was her only soccer ball.

He gave it back.

When she got home, she took the hog to her room. She felt sorry for herself because she knew she was happy to get back her ball, but she also she had to keep her promise, and she did not want to marry a hog. She did not want to get married tomorrow, she said.

The next day she found the hog waiting for her. When she married him, he turned into a handsome prince, so they live hapily ever after.


The Princess and the Bee
by Alexandra, third grade writer

This queen knew that only a real princess would have super-sensitive hearing, so she piled TWENTY matresses and TWENTY feather beds on top of the matresses. Then she laid a tiny bee under these FORTY MATRESSES. After dinner, the beautiful princess went to her room to sleep in the bed.

The next morning the queen asked the princess how she had slept.

“How did I SLEEP?!” cried the princess. “There was this TERRIBLE buzzing sound and I could hardly SLEEP at all!”

The queen knew she was a true princess, and her son, the prince, married the girl. They lived happily every after.


Student Samples: Upper Elementary

Cinderella and the Grass Clippers
by Gabby, fourth grade writer

Once upon a time there was a girl named Cinderella who lived in a cottage. She had a pair of magic grass clippers. With her clippers, she created amazing animal figures in bushes.

One night she was in her little cottage and right outside her window she saw a very handsome prince riding a horse through her garden. She went right outside and asked, “What are you doing riding your HORSE in the middle of my GARDEN?” she asked.

“What might be your name? For I am Famous Prince Quincy,” he answered. “And I am very, very sorry that I am riding in your precious garden. I only just realized.”

“Oh, I guess if you didn’t know, you may be on your way,” said Cinderella.

The prince and his horse began riding away into the darkness. Cinderella wondered why he had come. She began yelling, “WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!” but he didn’t hear her.

The next morning while cooking, she watched her exquisite garden very, very closely to see if that handsome prince might come again. Suddenly, while making delicious pancakes, the prince appeared. She ran outside. “WAIT!” she called. The prince stopped. “Yesterday you NEVER told me why you were in my garden in the first place,” she said.

“Oh yes, I am riding through your exquisite garden because I am looking for a beautiful girl that I heard makes the best figures in bushes.”

“Oh, I am that girl,” said Cinderella.

“Oh, well ,uh, there is a garden contest and I was wondering if you would like to join?” he asked. “The prize is marrying me.”

“Yes, oh YES! All right, see you at the contest,” she said.

So Cinderella took her grass clippers to the contest and won of course. They were married and lived happily ever after.

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